On New Years Eve, I tried something new and joined a meditation workshop at my local yoga centre. The workshop was about releasing the old and welcoming in the new. After the year I’ve had, I felt there was much to let go of, discard to make way for lots more good on my healing journey.

I wasn’t planning on heading out anywhere that night, can’t remember last time I was out at night, according to Dr Doidge: a healing brain requires lots of sleep and rest so socialising at night has been out of the picture for ages. This workshop was my peaceful way of welcoming in the new year plus I was in bed early and sleeping before the 9pm fireworks.

I was feeling emotional in those last days of 2018, it had been such a trying, tough year. I was injured by heatstroke on 14 January so it’s almost a full year of illness and recovery. In my positive moments, I call this period my sabbatical, my healing interval and in my negative moments there is no sugarcoating it – it’s been an absolute shitter of a year! While I’m happy to let go of the year, I’m upset because it has been twelve months and 31 December has come around and I’m still not recovered.

With so many loses and heartbreaks, I felt looking back, rehashing these would be too painful and accepting where I’m at now, not fully recovered but one my way was challenging to me.

In the spirit of moving forward, I was willing it give the workshop a go.

new years meditation
This was in the centre of the room

Lessons from 2018

First up, we were to write down something we were grateful for and a lesson we learnt in 2018, place them in a bowl and share them around. I received this one, and it’s so spot on for me.

Lessons from 2018

I am reminded of all my friends this past year who’ve helped me with encouraging messages, lifts to doctors appointments, listening to my theories on the injury, listen to my bad brain fog jokes, gave me hugs, given me food, drinks, teas, read my blog, took the time to write nice comments and supported me along the way.

“Nothing is permanent. Everything changes.”

Lessson from 2018 from another workshop participant handed to me.

Thanking 2018

Next it was time for meditation, which was the part I was not looking forward to.

Think of all your friends and family, hold that picture of them in your minds eye and thank with gratitude for all that is in your life.

Think of all the fun things you’ve done in 2018, hold that picture…

Think of your health, your body …

Think of your work….

And so.

Memory loss has hidden some of these memories from me, and the brain inflammation still squashing the parts which hold memory. During the meditation I struggled to picture anything in those moments. My mind was blank.

Finding My Memories

Luckily the memory loss I’ve experienced is NOT permanent. I know I’ll regain my brain function quickly when the swelling reduces and with some retraining of my brain.

I have trouble recalling experiences or incidents, however if I am prompted with a reminder, like a photo or a story, I’m able to reconnectt the neural pathways in my brain and the memory stays for me. Brain is amazing, eh?

My OT suggested I create a visionboard of my life to remind me of my friends, experiences, joys and hobbies.

I’ve printed 200 photos and created this… it took me two weeks to make. This is helping already, extradionary to “relive” my life again, oh I went to Europe last year, oh wow I rode 100km bike race, oh wow I swim around Shark Island.

My memory wall… nearly filled in my entire wardrobe, space for a few more new memories

Please help

My OT also suggested I ask my friends to help me rebuild my memory bank by sharing their fun stories about me.

I appeal to you, my friends, please comment below with a favourite story; something we did together, or laughed at together, how we met, anything that will remind jog my memories and wake them up. Similar to my “use it or lose it” – waking up my brain in the kitchen

I would love to hear from you, as soon as someone mentions a memory, it does come back to me and then I remember it (please keep this in mind when talking to me, I may have forgotten something very embarrassing)

Memories with joy or laughter are easier to remember

Memories with a strong emotion are good cause the brain holds onto them

Memories with a photo would be great, can you please post to my facebook page or email me hello@trisista.com.au

Thank you

I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart

Thanks for listening

mermaid tail